Age-hypogamous intimate relationships, otherwise known as relationship between older woman and younger man, is becoming common day by day.
The social norms and criticism that used to surround such relationships seem to loosen up. It is becoming normal, if not acceptable, to see a young 20-something year old flaunting his 40-something year old girlfriend.
Just the other day, Gospel artist Guardian Angel tied the knot with his long time girlfriend, Esther Musila. The two were met with ageist comments on social media that begged the question, is it a sin to marry an older woman?
As it turned out, people didn’t have a problem with Guardian Angel marrying Esther, but had a tang problem with the age difference.
Finding genuine love at a certain age, especially for ladies, can be a debacle. The society has been known to put pressure on women to get married before they turn 30. The excuse has always been that after 30, it will be hard to find a man, lest they still someone’s husband.
Priorities varies between individuals. Some might opt to marry then chase career goals later. Whilst some might chase the career goals then settle for marriage later in life. In most cases, women who opt for the latter end up being single for a longer time before finding someone to settle with.
Women are known to have a biological clock ticking in them that determines their reproductive ability. A slight delay, menopause catches up with them.
Jacob Aliet, an Author and philosopher says that women experience their peak sexual agency between eighteen and twenty seven. “After this stage, if they are still unmarried, they experience a sort of panic because they realize they can no longer compete in the sexual marketplace with the ravishing twenty two year olds.”
“From forty to her early fifties, the woman’s interest in the alpha re-emerges. This is the stage where she is likely to become a cougar,” he adds.
Most relationships involving a young man and an older woman are perceived to be transactional where the young man is there for the money, and the lady keeping him for energetic sexual benefits.
However, there are such relationships that are genuine and not necessarily based on the aforementioned benefits. Just pure love and affection.
Speaking to Elle France, French first lady, Brigitte Macron who is 25 years older than her husband Emmanuel Macron, admitted “Of course, we have breakfast together, me and my wrinkles, him with his youth, but it’s like that. If I do not make that choice, I would have missed out on my life. I had a lot of happiness with my children and, at the same time, felt I had to live ‘this love'”
As expected in such unions, Brigitte Macron, 68, and Emmanuel Macron, 44, also faced criticism.
“I ended by telling myself, ‘OK, I do not take it well but I have to deal with it. After, it will pass,” said Brigitte.
When an older man is in an intimate relationship with a younger woman, everyone minds his business. Why? You ask – because that’s what the society is tuned to see as the correct jigsaw fitting. It is the relationship structure that we are used to seeing in our culture.
There is a large number of never-married, widowed and divorced people who still want to experience love. They want to be loved and pampered, and wouldn’t want to ruin other people’s marriages nor steal husbands. So, they opt for young men who are single and youthful with a pinch of maturity.
In pursuit for true love, older women face all sorts of dirt. From meeting men who just want their money and leave, to criticism from the society and a chain of heartbreaks.
And as the adage goes, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel, love will always find them. In the midst of all the grim, love still remains to be blind. As long as the parties involved are happy, everyone should mind their business.